Struggling With No Motivation

Since the start of my morning sickness in trimester 1, one of the hardest things I’ve battled with throughout my pregnancy is a lack of motivation. Even mundane tasks like having a shower take so much mental effort for me to muster up the strength to get up and do it. I’ll admit - I’ve even gone without a shower for a few days here and there. Keeping up a well-put-together appearance has also become too much of a task, that I rarely wear make-up or dress nicely. I feel like I’ve just got enough willingness to get by, but not for anything else. This can make life feel a little bit harder, and completing tasks like “exercise 3x a week” will definitely feel harder too. The rest of this blog will address this feeling of laziness/lack of motivation, why it’s okay and how to best cope with it.

Why it’s okay to feel like this

First and foremost, you must acknowledge that your body is going through so many different changes throughout pregnancy. Not only is there an unfamiliar concoction of hormones pumping around your body, but you are literally growing another soon-to-be human being - that’s got to take up lots of energy resources. The truth is, if you are pregnant you are most likely not going to be in your prime. This is not the time to aim for PBs, or write extensive to-do lists, or push your body to its limits. Energy is a finite resource, and because your body is using so much of its energy to make a little baby, it makes complete sense that you will have less of it. Hello, fatigue.

In today’s society, hustle culture is such a big theme. To be successful, or seen as an accomplished human being, we feel like we have to constantly grind and work ourselves down to the bone. This is the opposite of what you want to be doing in pregnancy, and so the transition to doing less, and resting more, can feel uncomfortable. Even if you are not pregnant, but you are experiencing fatigue, burn out, or a sudden lack of motivation, the answer may not be to persevere and grind, but simply to rest and recover. Our bodies are wise communicators, and if we take the time to listen to its cues, we can work with our bodies instead of fighting against them. If you’re tired and you feel like you have no energy to keep going, you probably need to rest. Mentally and physically.

How to get things done

Even when motivation is low and fatigue is high, you can still get things done. Learn to prioritise your most essential tasks. Not everything on your to-do list needs to be done today, so complete them in the order of most to least important, so that if your energy levels do drop, you can say, “I’ve done what I need to do today, the rest can wait for once I have regained my energy”.

Spread your to-do list over the whole week. 

It’s not manageable to get everything done in one day. If you spread your tasks over one week, you give yourself the opportunity to move things around if you wake up one day and have less energy than normal. Tiredness isn’t linear. Some days you will feel like you have nothing to give, whilst others days you’ll notice you have a little bit more. If you are clear on what you want to accomplish in the week ahead, this gives you freedom to change your plans based on your energy levels. For example, if you say you will exercise 3x a week on Monday, Wednesday and Friday, but you wake up on Wednesday with little to no energy, you can skip a day and pick up your last two workouts on Thursday and Saturday. Setting your goals to weekly accomplishments rather than daily ones, will give you the freedom to listen to your body and rest when you need, whilst still giving yourself guidelines on what you want to achieve to prevent complacency and stagnation. 

Think: ‘something rather than nothing’, instead of ‘all or nothing’. 

The all or nothing mentality kept me stuck for years. It convinced me that if I wasn’t going to give something 100%, or do something perfectly then there wasn’t any point to do it at all. This is a harmful mindset that will hinder your growth. The alternative method is to do something rather than nothing. This will ensure that you get things done. Growth isn’t achieved in one day, or by one action. It’s the accumulation of constant effort. Doing something, rather than nothing, will ensure you are constantly adding to your basket, instead of waiting for the right time. If you said you were going to swim today, but you have little energy to do so, go for a walk instead of doing nothing. If you were meant to clean the house but can’t muster the strength, just do the dishes. Momentum is key. It is hard to get started, but once the ball is rolling it’s easier to carry on. And even if you do the small task and think “that’s enough”, at least you did something.

Get clear on what kind of person you want to be.

Inaction is the result of your identity not aligning with your wants. If you want to run a 10K, but you view yourself as someone who hates running, then that 10K isn’t looking too likely. A lot of the time we think about what we want, but completely ignore how we currently identify. The stories that we tell ourselves about who we are, are some of the most influential stories in life. You will not act or behave a certain way, if you do not believe that is who you are. 

Take a moment and look deep. What stories do you currently tell yourself that keep you stuck in the same habits that you’re trying to break? Here are a few examples that could pop up: 

• I’m lazy.

• I’m not good at anything.

• I’ll never be good enough.

• I hate exercise.

• I never do the things I say I will.

• I don’t have any discipline.

• I don’t work hard.

These examples may resonate, or perhaps you’ve dug deep and found some of your own. The truth is, if you have two people with two different identities, they will react and respond to the world in two different ways. For example, someone who thinks, “I love doing hard things because I can prove to myself that I can overcome them” versus, “I hate it when things are hard because it makes me feel stupid”.

Getting clear on who you want to be, and who you currently say you are, is the first step to changing your identity. Once you acknowledge the stories you currently tell yourself, you can correct them when they pop up in your head. If you’re about to run that 10K and think “I don’t want to do this, I hate running”, you can choose to change the narrative to “I can do this, I want to be a runner, I want to enjoy running”. Your actions (e.g. running the 10K) will reaffirm your new identity of being a runner, and in turn your identity will affirm your actions. 

Task: Make a list of all the stories you tell yourself that keep you stuck in the same habits and the same identity. 

Now, imagine what kind of person you would like to be. How they would act and what beliefs about themselves they would hold. Write a new list of the new stories this person would tell themselves.

Write a third list of what actions this person would take when living in this new identity. 

You can reflect on these lists daily, or just before doing a new activity that doesn’t quite feel like your identity yet.

Conclusion

Motivation is great, but it’s not always there. You can’t rely on it to get things done. Making tasks smaller and manageable, prioritising something over nothing, listening to your body and being clear on your identity, can all help you take action when motivation is absent. Remember that it is not necessary, nor realistic, that we should constantly be achieving. Rest is just as important as hard work - you can’t have one without the other. 

Be kind to yourself, let yourself rest, let yourself have fun, let yourself relax.